Rapport succeeded and failed because of rapport
The students participating in my NLP course each have different goals.
Some want to advance their careers by improving sales and HR management skills; Some want to improve parent-child relationships; Some want to increase their personal charm, hoping to find success in love; Others have their eyes on the mainland training market and are committed to becoming outstanding NLP trainers.
Although everyone’s goals differ, the way to achieve ideal goals ultimately leads to the same goal—both rely on a single French word. Rapport。
In the dictionary, ‘rapport’ means ‘to socialize;’ ‘close relationship’ and ‘harmonious and consistent,’ but I simply translated ‘rapport’ as ‘affinity.’
Think about it: if salespeople and customers don’t build a strong sense of affinity, even with excellent products and services, customers may end up refusing the salesperson and causing the deal to fall through; If managers and subordinates lack affinity, communication can lead to many misunderstandings and obstacles, and labor disputes are more likely to occur; Similarly, to improve parent-child relationships and enhance personal attractiveness, you must also build an ideal sense of affinity to easily break down barriers between people.
Without a sense of affinity, it’s like lacking good interpersonal relationships; If relationships are poor, your career will be stuck, and you’ll hit obstacles everywhere in love.
Carnegie Mellon University in the United States analyzed case records from 10,000 people and found that “intelligence,” “expertise,” and “experience” accounted for only 15% of success factors, while the remaining 85% depended on good interpersonal relationships; According to a survey by Harvard University’s Career Guidance Group, among thousands of men and women who were laid off, those with poor interpersonal relationships were twice as high as those who were incompetent; Many studies even pointed out that during annual personnel transfers, over 90% of people were unable to use their talents due to poor interpersonal relationships.
One key to establishing Rapport is the “insider effect.” Social psychologists believe everyone likes people who are “similar” to themselves. If explained from NLP theory, this “similarity” does not refer to resemblance in appearance or appearance, but rather to the subconscious and belief values as “similarity.”
To experience the “Inside the Friend Effect” with others, the most basic thing is to respect their beliefs and values, and not impose your own ideas on them; At the same time, you can coordinate your language with the vocabulary and tone others frequently use. As long as you practice these two methods regularly, you’ll find that instantly creating intimacy with others is no longer difficult.
Of course, “catering to their preferences” is only the basic introduction to building rapport. The ultimate goal of rapporting is to influence others’ willingness to follow you. This involves more advanced knowledge and techniques, which we will discuss in detail later.
